When Your Thoughts Won’t Give You a Break: Understanding Overthinking
Have you ever found yourself replaying a conversation in your head and wondering if you said the wrong thing? Or stared at your phone wondering why someone hasn’t replied? Maybe you’re lying in bed thinking about something that happened at school,worrying about tomorrow, or imagining everything that could possibly go wrong. You tell yourself to stop thinking about it, but sometimes your mind can feel like it has a mind of its own.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. We all get caught in our thoughts sometimes. But when thinking starts to feel repetitive, exhausting, or impossible to switch off, we may find ourselves caught in a cycle of overthinking.
So, What Exactly Happens When We Overthink?
It often starts with something small like a conversation, a text, a decision, or something that didn’t go the way we expected. We begin analyzing what happened, wondering what it meant, and imagining what might happen next. Before long, our thoughts start to become a repetitive loop that feels difficult to escape. Overthinking often comes from wanting certainty, putting pressure on ourselves, or feeling like we need to prepare for every possible outcome (Aghata, 2024).
Thinking vs. Overthinking
Thinking things through isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Taking time to consider a situation can help us make decisions, solve problems, and prepare for challenges. The difference is that helpful thinking usually gets us somewhere. We think about the problem,consider our options, and decide what to do next. Overthinking, on the other hand, can leave us going around in circles. We might replay the same conversation, question whether we made the right decision, or imagine every possible way something could go wrong. Instead of finding a solution, we end up with even more questions.
For example, “I have a test tomorrow, so I’ll study tonight” gives us something we can act on. But “What if I fail? What if my grade drops? What if I can’t get into the program I want?” can quickly turn one concern into a chain of worries. Sometimes, our minds are searching for an answer that simply isn’t available yet.
Why Do We Overthink?
There isn’t always one simple answer. Research suggests that social media, pressure we put on ourselves, and uncertainty about the future can all contribute to overthinking (Aghata, 2024). Think about how easy it is to compare yourself to other people online. We see what our friends are doing, what they look like, and where they’re going, and what they seem to have figured out. Even when we know that social media doesn’t show the whole picture, it can be easy to wonder, “Am I doing enough?” or “Why doesn’t my life look like that?” School, friendships, relationships, family expectations, and questions about the future can also create uncertainty. We may replay something that already happened and wonder what we could have done differently, or jump ahead and imagine everything that could go wrong. The more we analyze, the more questions we can create, leaving us stuck in a cycle that feels difficult to break.
When Your Mind Fills in the Blanks
When we don’t have all of the information, our minds can sometimes fill in the blanks. If a friend doesn’t respond to your text, you might wonder, “Are they mad at me?” or “Did I do something wrong?” Before long, you may find yourself reacting to an assumption rather than what you actually know. When this happens, try asking yourself: “What do I actually know right now?”
Fact: My friend hasn’t responded.
Assumption: My friend is upset with me.
The assumption could be true, but there could be many other explanations. Taking a moment to separate what actually happened from what we’re telling ourselves about it can help us step out of the overthinking cycle.
What Can Help?
You don’t have to force yourself to stop thinking. Instead, notice when your thoughts are going in circles and ask yourself, “Is there something I can actually do about this right now?” If there is, focus on one small step. If there isn’t, remind yourself that continuing to think about it may not give you the certainty you’re looking for. It can also help to name the thought rather than automatically believing it. Instead of “Everyone is judging me,” try, “I’m having the thought that everyone is judging me.” This can help you take a step back from the thought and remember that just because you think something doesn’t mean it’s true. Sometimes, your mind doesn’t need another answer, it just needs a break.
Everyone overthinks sometimes, and having thoughts that feel difficult to quiet doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. But if overthinking is making it harder to sleep, focus at school, enjoy your relationships, or be present in your everyday life, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Reaching out for support or having a GOODTALK can be a helpful place to start.
References
Aghata, A. (2024). The phenomenon of overthinking in generation Z: A cognitive
psychology perspective. International Journal for Science Review, 1(1), 1-7.
